Tzama
Nafshi in English - Parshas Bo ה’’תשע
By
HaRav Eliezer Berland, shlit”a
It says
in the Parsha: “And you shall take a bundle of Ezov
- Hyssop.” (12:22)
The
Midrash Raba comments on this and says: “Specifically through the Ezov,
which is the lowliest tree of all trees, he redeemed Israel (parsha 17).”
A person’s greatness derives from his humbleness and humility. Only one
who lowers himself to dust will be revived in Techiyas Ha’meisim and
will merit eternal life: “And He fulfills his faith to those who dwell in the
earth”, “Awaken and rejoice, dust dwellers”, meaning, the lowlier one holds
himself to be, the more he humbles himself before others and Hashem, the more
likely he is to merit techiyas Ha’meisim, a life of all eternity. The
more points we gain in our daily quest for humility the better are our chances
to merit an eternal life; the pleasure of the Olam Haba. With every insult, the
person attains greater humility. No matter how often a person is humiliated and
disgraced, he should rejoice. If you are certain that someone in the street is
going to insult you, you should run and immerse in the mikveh beforehand,
because when a person is disgraced, he receives such a tremendous light. That’s
why I reiterate that you should immerse yourself in the mikveh first, so that
you will have the appropriate “tools” with which to receive that light. When a
person is disgraced, a powerful light comes into the world, the likes of which
cannot be received through any other mitzvah in the world. The Bizzayon-
disgrace – turns the person into ‘non-existent’ and he merits such a Divine
light, a wondrously bright light, an eternal light, a light which is brighter
than the surrounding light of all of the worlds – it surrounds all of the
worlds. The more points of humility we collect for ourselves the more we will
merit the Divine light; the light of eternity.
David HaMelech said, “Purify me with Ezov and I will become pure, wash
me and I will become whiter than snow.” – purify me with Ezov! I want to be
Ezov, I want to be humiliated, I want everyone to step on me, laugh at me and
humiliate me; that is the only way for one to do teshuva! I need to know that I
am worse than everyone else, I sinned more than anyone else, I caused more
trouble than anyone else, I am nothing more than, “Purify me and I will become
pure, wash me and I will become whiter than snow.” I want to be Ezov like the
Ezov that grows along the walls, the one everyone steps on, humiliate and
disgrace; I want to be an Ezov my whole life!
There are two levels of teshuva. There is one level where the person is
disgraced by another but remains silent, and this is called in the Torah, “they
are insulted but do not insult back, they hear their disgrace but do not
respond.” The person is humiliated but he remains silent, he does not retort or
respond, as it says in the Torah, “And Aharon kept quiet.” There is a higher
level, though, which is as it says, “They do it out of love and rejoice in their
suffering.” This refers to a person who merits a higher spiritual level because
even though people are humiliating and disgracing him, [not only does he remain
silent,] he is happy. He sings and plays music and accepts all of the
humiliation with joy, with love and with song. Every insult he receives is like
an ointment for his wounds, it heals them. Every bizzayon is like purifying
water, as it says, “And I shall cast upon you purified water, and you shall be
purified.”
There is no limit to humility and humbleness. When someone gives a
person a bizzayon, he has showered him with eternity, made him limitless, now
he has no limits, he is nullified. He can sense the Divine light. About such a
person people say, “This person is nothing, he is worthless, and he is a liar
and a hypocrite!” The more they say about him the more nullified he becomes and
then he is awarded all the success and abundance in the world. He gets one
insult and suddenly merits a million successes. After being disgraced he will
have endless success and abundance. He becomes the provider of the land, he
receives endless abundance as it says, “And Yosef was the provider to all the
people of the land.” Yosef became the provider of the land; he merited infinite
abundance, because after he had been sold and humiliated he became nullified
and then all of the abundance was transferred directle through him. We learn
from this that the more a person is disgraced, the more abundance and success
he will have.
Sometimes, when a person is disgraced, he thinks, “Ah! I am being
disgraced because I am a Tzaddik! Because I am a servant of Hashem!” This is
self pride. One should not come to self pride through his disgrace; he should
think to himself, “I am being disgraced and humiliated because I deserve it,
because I am neither Tzaddik nor Chassid; I don’t learn Torah properly, don’t
guard my eyes, I really am a rasha (wicked person)!” People have to face
the truth. If someone says to you, “You’re a rasha!”, your thoughts
should be: “Baruch Hashem that he told me the truth.” A person must admit the
truth. When someone comes along and reminds me just who I am, I should kiss
that person; kiss his feet for telling me the truth. It says, “Hate the ones
who love [you] and love the one who hates [you].” This means you should love
your haters. The more people talk badly about a person and humiliate him the
more beneficial. Those who love you mean nothing! You should hate those who
adore you, they are just flattering you and confusing you, they give you the
illusion that you are a Tzaddik, that everything you do is good. ‘Hate the ones
who love you’, that’s what it says! Love the one who rebukes you, who disgraces
you, that’s who you should love! He’s the one you should embrace. What’s the
problem? Somebody comes along and tells you the truth about yourself - what do
you get out of having your other friends who respect you and flatter you?
Rebbe Nachman says in Tora 260, that when one does a messirus nefesh,
yichudim (Divine unifications)
are established. When tzaddikim themselves are not able to do those same yichudim,
there is no one to rise at chatzos and weep [over Beis Hamikdash], no
one else serving Hashem with a real messirus nefesh, than there is no
choice but to make these yichudim via people who have been killed, i.e.,
via death. There is, however, one other way to make those yichudim and
that is through the acceptance of bizzyonos with love. A person who
accepts his bizzyonos with love saves the entire generation form death.
Whenever a person accepts a bizzayon with love he should know that he
has just saved a Jew from being killed. Moreover, the more important and famous
the person is, if he accepts the insults he gets from others with love, the
more he merits saving the generation from death. There are those who
intentionally go out seeking abuse; they look for all sorts of ideas and plots
to cause people to speak badly about them and insult them, as Rabbenu said, “he
does this of his own accord and of his own free will.” By doing so, the person
makes the loftiest, most elevated yichudim; it is considered as though
he gave his life to sanctify Hashem. He sacrifices his reputation, his good
name; for the name is the nefesh, and everyone says things about him
that never really happened. Through this he saves Klal Yisrael from death, by
the fact that his own ‘blood’ is being spilled moment by moment, and yet he
accepts it all with joy and love. He saves Am Yisrael from all of the harsh
decrees and troubles that were supposed to befall them, chas veshalom!
Therefore, every person undergoing humiliation should simply accept it all with
love because who knows how many decrees he is saving Am Yisrael from by his
acceptance? Rabbenu said (Siach Sarfei Kodesh 2:65), “He who makes dispute – I
cannot hate him” – I cannot hate any person who fights me, any person who hates
me; how can anyone hate a disputer? They are doing me such a favor; I really am
able to see the good they are bringing me, by arguing against me and speaking
about me. Their dispute sheds upon me such a radiant light, all I want to do is
kiss them and hug them.
When a person is disgraced, at that very moment he has been awarded a
million dollars. There is a story about Reb Zusha and Reb Elimelech from
Lidzensk who happened to come to a certain inn. Upon entering they saw that the
men there, were drunk and had begun kicking each other. No sooner had they laid
their eyes upon Reb Zusha, who was closer to them than his brother, than the
drunks began kicking him. They kicked him so hard, they nearly broke his bones.
Reb Elimelech saw this and said, “My brother, you are getting everything.
You’re taking all the beatings and humiliation for yourself! I also want some!
I also want an Olam Haba. What about me? What am I, Swiss cheese?! Don’t I
deserve some too? I also want to merit, let me have some! What do you think?
You get it all for yourself??? For a whole hour he tried convincing his brother
to let him share in the merits of the disgrace until Reb Zusha was finally persuaded
to “share”. The “Noam Elimelech” then switched places with Reb Zusha in order
to ‘treat’ himself to some of the beatings. No sooner had they switched places,
than the goyim suddenly decided that it was now the turn of “the guy in the
back” and thus returned to beating Reb Zusha once more. Reb Zusha said to Reb
Elimelech, “You see? I deserve all the beatings. “No person can touch what is
destined for his friend.”
With just one insult, a person’s sins from thousands of reincarnations
are atoned. All it takes is one insult to atone for an endless amount of sins.
With even one insult the person can merit what he could not through thousands
of good deeds. Every insult is equivalent to thousands upon thousands of fasts,
thousands upon thousands of sigufim (self affliction of pain and
suffering); it’s an alternative to being thrown into fire, into the ovens of
fire. People don’t understand the greatness of such rectifications – “No eye
has seen it, aside from You, Hashem.” Good Shobbas!
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